With all the talk about Presidential primaries and the upcoming Super Bowl, high-stakes competition is key on everyone’s mind. Who will win? Who will lose? What will they do to secure the victory? Who will they blame for failure?

We know all about competition in our household, too. My husband is a coach. My teenaged son plays several different sports. My daughter loves playing Yahtzee or Sorry and the little guy is into Army games. All of which have a winner. And a loser.

Does it always have to be that way? Can’t we all be winners? Does there have to be a loser? I know what you’re thinking. The very word “winner “implies at least one non-winner. (Or, as my daughter says, the one who won second place or third place.)

Sometimes in life it shakes down to us against them. And someone comes out on top.

But many times — like in marriage and family — we’re on the same team. We’re in this together. If I win the argument and my husband loses, we both lose … because we’re on the same team and what affects one of us, affects all. That makes my seeming victory, in reality, a defeat. We both lose. Ouch.

So instead of seeking to win my side of the argument or have the decision fall in favor of my opinion, I’m learning to seek win-win solutions. It takes effort and determination to brainstorm all the possibilities along with humility and love to lay down my selfish desires and be willing to compromise. However, if it can be found, a solution where everyone wins is the best thing for the team.

We’re in the middle of making a big decision that affects our entire family in many different ways. I can honestly say my husband and I have spent more time in prayer, fact-finding, and listing the pros and cons over this than in any previous decision we’ve had to make. The end result may not make everyone happy, but we’re honestly trying to do what’s best for everyone.

Because we’re on the same team.

What about you? Do you have a competitive nature? Is it okay to have a loser? Who is on your team? How do you arrive at win-win solutions?

On The Same Team
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